We All Make Mistakes

I HATE making mistakes and I try so hard NOT to make mistakes. When making a decision, I try to be extremely thoughtful and conscientious of the consequences to my decisions. And yet, with all of my thought and consideration, I still make mistakes. Every time I mess up, I feel HORRIBLE. So much so, that I have come to the point that I will do whatever I have to to avoid making a mistake, including not making a decision (which is a decision in of itself, and a poor decision, as well as a MISTAKE...oh, the irony!)

But seriously, I get so frustrated with myself, I am like "how could I do something stupid AGAIN!" I thought I had learned my lesson, and yet here I am again reaping the consequences of another poor decision! Sometimes, its as simple as me wishing I had waited a couple more days to buy eye-liner, because the next week it was half off and I paid FULL price!!! Ugh! I know that is not something to lose sleep over, but I sometimes wish I knew the future. I wish I knew the perfect plan for my life, I wish I knew exactly what my life was supposed to look like.

There are times when I feel like I don't want to LIVE by God's Grace each and every day! I want the BIG picture, what are we moving toward? It is so hard living by faith sometimes and being dependent on God's grace in my life. In my pride and desire for control, I want to the live the "perfect" life all by myself. I want to have everything figured out and not have to submit to God. And yet, I am so thankful that I don't have to live this life by my own strength, wisdom, or even my own "goodness".

I am so thankful that I make mistakes, big ones and small ones, because it reminds me how far I fall short of God's glory, His perfection. Even with all of my imperfections, my Heavenly Father accepts and loves me. He is far more patient with me than I am with myself.

When I ask God, "Why do you not just give up on me? I keep messing up and I am not going to stop messing up anytime soon." His response to me is, "I love you Lauren. I love you unconditionally, with ALL of your mistakes, past, present and future. There isn't anything you can do that will make me stop loving you. You are mine. You are my daughter, who I love. The price has already been paid for your "mistakes", as well as your sins."

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Today, I told Jillian, "Mommy made a mistake".

She looked at me, nodded with understanding and said "Jillian made a mistake."

I was so touched by her empathy, I gave her the biggest hug and kiss.

Jillian figured that she must have said something good, so she added, "Daddy made a mistake too".

I replied with a smile, "yes". Then she asked, "Faith make mistake too?".

I said, "Yes, we ALL make mistakes. "

Jillian looked at me and repeated enthusiastically, "We ALL make mistakes".

I smiled at her and agreed again. She then went on playing with her car. As she "drove" her car, she said a number of times... "We ALL make mistakes". It was music to my ears as I listened to my little girl say those words so cheerfully. You would think she was singing "Jingle Bells" it was such a merry tune! :)

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It is my prayer and desire that Jillian and Faith will know that when they make mistakes they will still be LOVED by me, their daddy, and most importantly their Heavenly Father. I know that our Heavenly Father desires an intimate relationship with both of my little girls. I just pray that their hearts will be open to receive His love and acceptance and that HE would be the LORD of their lives.